
“ACE: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire Society” by Angela ChenĮmily learned the language of “willing consent” from Suzanne Iasenzaįor more on “human givers” and “human winners” read “Burnout”Įmily’s definition of consent: “Everyone is glad to be there and free to leave with no unwanted consequences. Come As You Are is a collection of answers to that question, informed by current science, as well as personal stories. If you have a question for Emily, call the Come As You Are hotline at (646) 397-8557 or send a voice memo to Tell us your pronouns and pseudonym (pick a name, any name!) Your question might be answered on the show.ĪDDITIONAL RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE: If this episode brings up some feelings for you, check out our resources below.

A heads up before listening: in this conversation, we touch on difficult topics such as coercion and manipulation in sex.

Mo’s girlfriend joins the conversation, and they delve into the idea of “enthusiastic maybe” in consent and how to handle all the comfortable, joyful, and consensual “maybes” that can come up in sex. In the process of changing the patterns, the residual trauma will emerge. Like Allow yourself to feel those old feelings, but now, instead of engaging in the habitual self-defensive patterns, begin practicing new patterns.

Mo and her girlfriend are considering a new sexual experience but they’re not both an “enthusiastic yes” on the idea. Emily Nagoski, Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life. This week, Emily answers a question from her producer, Mo, about consent.
